#so does thire

[varpusvaras]

Index: Commander got hurt two days ago. They were chasing two suspects in a speeder in high speed, and since our speeders are... not always in tip-top shape, the door Commander was leaning on opened by itself

Index: He went hurling out pretty fast, and, by Corporal Brass's description, did "more volts than the trapetze artist that got stuck in their own tigthrope we had to go and rescue last month"

Index: Anyway, Commander proceeds to get up, run after the speeder, take it down and apprehend both suspects. He said his arm was just a bit sore, and he seemed coherent, so they let him slip out from a healthcheck. Commander Thorn brought him in the next morning because he had said something about his 'neck hurting' before he fell asleep

Index: Turns out that Commander had completely shattered his collarbone and proceeded to just...ignore it? I need to check his adrenalin levels... *muttering*

Index: Anyway, I knit the bone back to its original shape, but left it in a sling, for at least a week, so he can take a break from fieldwork at least. And he did, I swear! And I only gave him some mild painkillers. Mild.

Index: So I am not really sure how this happened

(Bullet, standing at the bottom of a very high transmission tower: Commander! What the kriff are you doing?!

Fox, not in full armor and on top of the tower, his arm still in a sling: Look, Bullet, there was-

Bullet, losing his mind: I don't care why you are up there! HOW DID YOU GET UP THERE??!)

Thire, just back from an escort mission:

Index:

Thire:

Index:

Thire: *sigh*

[1-800-crscnt]

thinking of Thire using a lot of slang and just "online speak" in the way that he will casually threaten others or say very weird and rude/inappropriate things without much thought, and how this spreads to Fox since he's helping train him to be a Commander, which results in moments like Fox saying "i'm naming you in my suicide note" when Wolffe tells him he sounds a bit hoarse. Fox is embarrassed of course because he didn't mean that and he didn't like how dramatic that is, Wolffe is just stunned and a bit scared, but will chuckle about it later when he learns Fox wasn't serious. it happens again during a meeting with a few of his captains, where one talked about some sculpture being "sloppy" and "pitiful" and he replied with "nobody cares about your sex life". horrified/amused/confused silence in the room, he wants to melt through the floor. he swears them all to secrecy, and makes Thire work with the other Commanders more often.

[wyvernsrus]

[phantasm-echo]

POV: you wake up in the middle of your own autopsy with force powers then immediately get brainwashed into falling to the dark side

I was reminded of the fact that I haven’t drawn inquisitor!fives’ autopsy scars in way too long so here I am, delivering a few too many Fives 💀

Anyway I know I don’t post much about the AU on here so props to anyone who knows what’s going on here even slightly, I’ve decided to nerf siren!echo (who WAS part of this AU yes I know quite random) but since him being turned into a siren kinda limits what I can do with him story wise he is now an AU of the AU.

That means the name I came up with for the au (dead mean walking/swimming or dmw(s) as I’ve been tagging it) is kinda irrelevant. I’ll just call this the inquisitor fives AU but if you have any AU name suggestions feel free to drop them.

Here are some of the major factors of the AU:

It gets worse before it gets better

(WARNING: there are quite a few heavy topics covered in the AU such as torture, dehumanisation and su*cidal thoughts, so pls read at your own discretion)

- fives wakes up in the middle of his own autopsy with force sensitivity, then gets brainwashed into falling to the Dark Side by Palpatine. As an Inquisitor, he does not remember anything about his life because those memories were blocked by Palpatine.

- Palpatine discovers that Fives is essentially immortal, and any injuries inflicted on him will heal no matter how bad.

- when echo gets rescued from skako minor, he is recalled to Kamino for experimentation, first of all so they can figure out what the Techno Union did to him, second of all to see how he survived his injuries. Nala se, who knows that fives came back to life, theorises that since he and echo were tube twins they share the “immortality”. He is kept on Kamino for VERY extensive experimentation where terrible things happen to him (cough vivisection cough lobotomy) and so never joins Clone Force 99 even if he did work with them on Anaxes.

- Fives in this time is sent out on many missions by Palpatine that involve him unaliving many people, and after the rise of the Empire he hunts a few Jedi.

- Fox, who throughout the war had experienced many blackout missions where he woke up afterwards covered in blood, is the last living Coruscant Guard commander. (Thorn dies, stone vanishes one day, Thire mistakes Vader for a Jedi and pays the price) Despite the best efforts of his son secretary Dogma (no way!?) Fox has very little will to live, is extremely depressed and borderline suicidal, he would like nothing more than to bite the dust, but still feels he has a duty to the very few remaining corries and so tries to keep it together (he is failing)

- one day Palpatine decides he doesn’t need Fox to do his bidding anymore since he has much better assets at his disposal (Fives), and decides it would be ironic to sic his pet clone inquisitor onto Fox. Fives still doesn’t remember anything, and only knows that Fox is responsible for the main scars on his body and believes fox is the reason he doesn’t remember most of his life, and so sets out to kill fox. They battle it out (ref to that one animation wip I posted) and fives is on the verge of killing fox (who didn’t really try to fight that much, like I said he would very much like to die and dying at the hand of the vod he “killed” seems fitting to him) when he gets a sudden vision of echo.

- all fives knows is echo is extremely important to him and must be rescued and that snaps him out of palpatine’s control. He knows he probably can’t rescue echo alone, and since fox has already been betrayed by the empire he decides “fuck it” and basically kidnaps fox and they run. They make a deal, that once echo has been found, Fives will put Fox out of his misery (fox feels that fives should be the only person to kill him, and only goes along with the plan because he refuses to let anyone else kill him)

- fox and fives proceed to go on an intergalactic road trip to “rescue echo” even though neither of them know how to do that. They become closer friends throughout, and fives slowly regains bits and pieces of the Before

- meanwhile during the destruction of Kamino, the bad batch stumble on echo and rescue him and he stays with them for a little bit before leaving with Rex

- meanwhile Dogma helps the rest of the remaining Corries desert, kills too many storm troopers, and tries to go after his buir fox and the bastard inquisitor who kidnapped him

This is the main stuff you need to know for the AU haha so if you’ve got new name suggestions I’m all ears ty!!

[cc1010fox]

Cody, watching a toddler wave around a piece of flimsi: Uh...Where did the tubie come from? Thire: Fox. Cody: What'd he say he brought them to the office for? Thire: He didn't. Cody: Then how do you know--? Thire: If it's a tooka, Thorn brought it here. If it's a massiff, Hound brought it here. If it's a tubie, Fox brought it here. Cody: One of those things is not like the others... Thire: One of those vode is not like the others. Fox is an entity consisting entirely of caffeine and buir instincts. Cody: So why isn't he watching the tubie? Thire: Meetings. He knows I'll keep the tubie safe while he's gone. Soon enough, he'll be back to do what he does best, take responsibility for another person.

[foxika]

the fox and the hound everyone… does anyone see the vision. they’re friends, we’re going to be friends forever right, fox? hello??

(my personal hc of hound and fox being pals has taken over my fox lives on tantiss au)

+++++++++++++

“He’s killed brothers!” Howzer snarls, gesturing wildly at Fox. His burning red face and furious gaze magnified in comparison to Fox’s cool, unbothered demeanour. Rex wouldn’t be surprised if Fox started to examine his nails to complete the look. “Fuck’s sake— he worked under Palpatine for 3 years, he had to have known what was coming!”

One brother, Fox signs. I killed one brother.

Thankfully, Howzer doesn’t see what Fox says, more than happy to speak over him and ignore any motions Fox makes. Rex gives Fox a wry look anyway.

Not helping.

Fox shrugs back.

“Palpatine fooled us all,” Echo speaks up, voice level. He’s been handling Fox’s arrival well enough. Sad, not quite angry, but not quite neutral either. Rex has been meaning to talk to him about Fox and Crosshair. “Even his closest confidants, like General Skywalker. We don’t know for sure what Fox was told.”

A sharp snap interrupts Howzer’s intake of breath. Fox leans forward with a raised brow, hands moving deftly.

Speaking of, why aren’t we interrogating Rex and every other 501st member here? Skywalker was just as complicit.

Time stands still, the temperature drops several degrees. Rex can feel his mouth is hanging open, but can’t drag his eyes away from Fox to clock everyone’s reaction to such a blatant lie.

“What?”

Rex isn’t sure if that was him or another clone.

Fox leans back with a frown, looking around the room. Darth Vader?

No reaction.

Fox continues. Tall, black armour, insane helmet asthma, helped Palpatine fight off the Jedi Order and led the 501st and Coruscant Guard march on the temple?

Like they needed a description—

“Anakin Skywalker died defending the temple you lying sleemo!” Howzer bursts out, slamming his fists on a crate. Rex can hear murmuring just outside the room they’ve commandeered.

Fox remains unfazed. Thire dragged his overdone body out of a volcano. I watched him stab that Windu guy in the back.

“That can’t be right,” Rex manages to get out, his voice weak. He looks helplessly at Echo for support, but his friend seemed far away. “I knew him. We knew him. The General would never—“

He’s interrupted by the mechanical whir of the door sliding open and familiar footsteps. “They sounded pretty upset, I don’t think they want to us to interrupt them!” Omega fretted, her blonde head coming into view as she trailed behind another trooper; Batcher on her heels and Crosshair continuing to be Omega’s shadow everywhere she goes.

He hadn’t let her out of his sight, Rex absently notes, focusing on the new trooper in the room. He’d seen him around, heard he mostly kept to himself and hadn’t given a name to anyone yet, but he was a valuable asset on recovery missions. Especially on Coruscant. Rex had a sneaking suspicion he was a former Corrie.

And the way he was looking at Fox and how Fox was looking at him all but confirmed it.

“Fox?” The trooper breathed out. He took a hesitant step towards the commander.

Omega crossed her arms and frowned, grumbling under her breath to Crosshair. “It took me months to learn his name.” Her voice quiet enough that Rex barely heard it.

“Hound,” Fox’s voice was rough and low, more air than tone and words. The pain of speaking is evident on Fox’s face but that doesn’t deter him from whispering again, his voice cutting out prematurely. “Hound.”

That’s all Hound needs to hear before he’s rushing forward with a choked sob, strong arms wrapping around Fox’s waist and lifting the commander off his feet.

Chest wracking sobs and his face buried in Fox’s chest muffle Hound’s voice as he struggles to choke out coherent sentences. “I saw- I found you. He dropped you out of the aircraft and I looked and looked and I found you so far down and you were gone-“

Through his wet rambling, Hound continues to hold Fox up, and while Fox looked equally heartbroken as Hound(minus the tears, but Rex knew this was about as expressive Fox would get surrounded by strangers), Fox was ready to be put down.

A light tap on the shoulder has Hound inhaling one last rattling breath before setting Fox on his feet. “Sorry,” Hound sniffs but doesn’t let go of his hand. Fox doesn’t seem to mind.

With one hand available Fox awkwardly signs. You brought me to the Chancellor?

Hound huffs wetly. “No, I left you in the alley I found you in. For the tookas. I know you liked to feed them.” He scrubs his face in an attempt to clear his teary eyes, though it only serves to make him look more miserable leaving splotchy marks on his skin.

You left my corpse to be eaten by tookas? Fox looked incredulous and mildly offended, ducking his head to meet Hound’s gaze. What the hell.

Hound nods solemnly. “It’s what you would’ve wanted— ow!”

Fox forgoes speaking to smack the backside of Hound’s head.

[stealthetrees]

So this is more of an AU of the fandom AU where the Coruscant Guard live in a shitty run down building that’s falling apart. But Commander Fox finds this unacceptable so he clears out a warehouse used for storage and builds a shiny new headquarters. The original building they fix up, but only the lobby, a couple offices, and the med bay so troopers on senate duty can stay there due to its proximity to the senate building. Their new building they can go nuts with, adding all sorts of stuff that they arnt allowed to have.

An entire room is filled with tv monitors so they can slice into security cameras around the planet and see everything. They get a nice rec room, an area for the engineers to play around with ideas, even an office for the medics to make you talk about your feelings. A server room is dedicated solely to storing and orgonizing blackmail collected on pretty much everyone worth mentioning on Coruscant.

But after one secret building, what’s another? Areas of strategic importance are carefully chosen and a new headquarters is established nearby. They are each given code names. The original building is still Headquarters, the new main building is the Barracks. The Office is where they run intelligence and investigations from. IT Department is next to the industrial district. The Kennals are much lower than some of their other buildings, a small station set up to monitor the rancor infestation (Thorn moves down there to become a cowboy after he “dies” on Scipio). The Lobby is set in the lower civilian levels as a way to help the people who arnt rich enough to bribe politicians into getting what they want. The Med Bay started as just somewhere for big surgeries, physical therapy and prosthetics, but which the “generous donations” they acquire it grows into a hospital for civilians as well, completely free, and they start hiring nat born doctors, surgeons and nurses while paying them well and proving a great work environment. Adding a therapist office helped a lot of troopers as well.

The system takes a long time to build and works perfectly. Until Fox figures out Palpatine is a Sith. It’s not actually world shattering news, but it does give him a panic attack after realizing Palpatine though Fox already knew, because he had threatened the chancellor with a slug thrower instead of a blaster. Through questions to his batch mates with Jedi generals he learns that Sith can influence people’s minds and decides that in order for the clone rights bill to pass Palpatine needs to die.

And die he does. The rest of the conservative senators are swayed by a mix of blackmail, bribes, and bomb threats. The bill does pass, and most of them are instantly arrested for sentient rights violations, assault, and various other crimes because government property can’t serve as a witness in a civilian court of law.

The timing of all this could not be worse, as two of Fox’s batch mates where on planet, Cody and Wolffe, and they loved to stick their noses in his business. Which means when a lot of Corries are injured in the fight with the senate guards and private security while trying to make arrests, Cody and Wolffe help get them back to Headquarters, because it’s much closer than the Barracks. But Headquarters has a very small med bay because so few troopers use it. So they are over crowded and run out of bacta.

Also Cody gets turned around in the hallway and discovers how bad the rest of the building is. So Fox has a choice to make. He grabs Cody and Wolffe and drags them outside and back to the GAR barracks while texting Thire and telling him he has an hour and a half to make Headquarters look lived in. Then Fox opens a one way comm line with every Corrie so they can keep the story straight as he answers his brothers questions.

Fox commits to the bit so hard they believe the Guard is suffering horribly from abuse and budget cuts while in reality they just steal money from what ever rich person they have the freshest blackmail from. He could just tell them all the illegal things he’s been up to, but Fox would rather die than tell someone more than they needed to know.

[nahoney22]

Liar Liar (Part 2/?)

🫧 Part Two - Reflection // <<< Part One

🫧 Pairings: Commander Fox X Female Reader

🫧 word count: 1.4k

🫧 Chapter Summary: When this ‘Whisky’ does not leave your mind, you find yourself distracted at work. Fox, however, needs to speak with you. He just does not know how to.

🫧 Warnings: Safe for work, Fox is apologetic, but the lying continues. Some nice fluff between reader and Fox. Caf is the pick me up we all need - especially Fox. Hound is suspicious.

🫧 Authors note: just a small chapter this time, support is very much appreciated ❤️

 The next day, your mind keeps drifting back to last night.

The way Whisky had looked at you, the smoothness of his voice, and that smirk that had sent warmth curling through your chest all night long. More than once, you catch yourself smiling, only to quickly wipe away your expression when one of the boys walks past. 

You weren’t embarrassed, not exactly, but the last thing you needed was to be on the receiving end of their relentless teasing. For now, this little secret remained hush hush.

Still, the day flies by in a blur. You’re as efficient as ever, never slacking on your work, but there’s a part of you that remains distracted. It isn’t until you finally sit down for a moment to relax your legs from running around all morning that Thire saunters up to you, his voice light and sing-song as he calls your name.

“What are you up to?” you ask, eyeing the sheepish look on his face.

He rubs the back of his neck. “I was wondering if you could grab some caf for me and the boys. We need a boost.”

You glance toward the caf machine shoved into the corner of the long desk, strategically placed out of view in case anyone higher up decided to crack down on ‘unnecessary’ luxuries. “Do your legs not work? What’s wrong with the machine?”

“It’s fine, just… we need something better.” His expression shifts, something thoughtful lingering in his eyes. “And Fox seems…”

You tilt your head. “Seems what?”

“Quiet.”

You blink. “He’s always quiet.”

“No, I know that.” Thire frowns, arms crossing over his chest. “But he’s really quiet. Have you spoken to him today?”

You think for a moment, then shake your head. “I dropped off some reports this morning, but he didn’t look up. Figured he was just busy.”

Thire hums, unconvinced. “I think he needs a pick-me-up.”

You sigh, already resigned to your fate. “Alright, fine. One caf run, coming up.”

Thire grins, quickly handing you a list—and credits to cover it. The list is longer than you expected, but for them, you’d do just about anything.

When you return, the scent of freshly brewed caf curling in the air, you barely get a moment to set the tray down before the boys descend on it. Some thank you with genuine appreciation, others just grab their cups with a quick nod, but soon enough, only one remains.

Fox’s.

You glance around the room, searching for the commander. “Where’d Fox go?”

Hound, already halfway through his caf, doesn’t even look up as he answers. “Got called to escort the Supreme Chancellor.”

You frown. “Great. Now his caf is going to get cold.”

Hound snorts, finally meeting your gaze. “He’d drink it if it was spilled on the floor.”

You huff, staring down at Fox’s caf like it personally offended you. After all that effort, it would be a shame for it to go to waste. And you certainly didn’t want him to drink it cold as some type of punishment after he had just been dealing with the Chancellor. 

Looking around, you weigh up your options.

The barracks weren’t exactly equipped with fancy caf warmers, but your eyes landed on the small stash of insulated containers the boys sometimes used for long shifts or out of office missions. 

That could work.

Grabbing an empty flask from the shelf, you pour Fox’s caf into it, screwing the lid on tight to keep it warm. Satisfied, you set it aside, drumming your fingers against the desk.

Hound was watching you with a smirk. “Didn’t realise you were so invested in the commander’s caf habits.”

You roll your eyes. “I just don’t like waste. If I went all that way to get it, I want him to actually drink it.”

Hound hums, clearly unconvinced.  “Right. Just being a good coworker.”

You huff but don’t argue. It wasn’t like Fox was your favourite person in the Guard. He was strict, grumpy, and half the time barely acknowledged you and when you did you always left in a bad mood. But still, you knew how hard he worked. If a warm cup of caf made his day a little easier, then what was the harm?

The rest of the day passed in a blur, though your thoughts kept drifting—more often than they should—to Whisky. You found yourself glancing toward the hangar every time you passed by when on another errand, half-hoping to catch a glimpse of him among the mechanics. But the never-ending pile of work kept you firmly in place.

Even when you thought you had a moment to escape, Thorn appeared with a fresh file—an incident report on a new prisoner in the military base that needed to be reviewed before being passed to Fox. So much for sneaking away.

Still, you wondered if Whisky had thought about you too. You hoped so.

"Afternoon."

The unexpected voice pulls you from your thoughts. You look up to see Commander Fox standing in the doorway—stance stiff as ever, though there’s something oddly hesitant about the way he lingers.

You stand out of respect and offer a small smile. "Hello. I'm just reviewing a report from Thorn for you. I won’t be long." Already, you’re moving to finish up, assuming he just wants you out of the way. But to your surprise, he doesn’t seem in a rush.

"I can take over if you’d like."

Your hand stills on the device, caught off guard. You slowly lower yourself back into your seat. "Oh, that’s okay. Hound mentioned you had a busy day."

Fox tilts his head slightly, and for a split second, you worry he’s taken your comment the wrong way.

"I just meant," you quickly add, "I know you work harder than anyone, and you don’t get a lot of breaks. I figured you’d be exhausted, that’s all."

He exhales, a long breath through the modulator. "Busy is an understatement," he mutters, stepping further into the room.

His gaze sweeps over your desk, pausing on something off to the side.

"That for me?"

It takes you a second to realise what he means, but then you spot the flask of caf. Your face warms at the realisation that he noticed since you were going to place it on his personal desk after you had finished this report. "Oh. Yeah," you say, suddenly sheepish. "I, uh, figured you’d need it."

He reaches for the drink as you hold it out to him, his gloved fingers brush against yours—just briefly—but it still makes your breath hitch for a second. He was acting differently and you were uncertain as to why.

"You didn’t have to do that," he murmurs.

You shrug, glancing away. "I know."

A beat of silence. Normally, he would have left by now. Instead, he lingers.

Then, something unexpected.

"Thank you." His voice is quieter this time, softer in a way you don’t often hear from him.

Your eyes flick back up to his visor, searching for something though you’re not sure what. "It's okay. You should thank Thire, really. He’s the one who sent me on the caf run."

Fox makes a small, amused sound. "He couldn’t have just used the machine?"

You scoff. "That’s exactly what I said! But apparently it isn’t good enough so I was the lucky one chosen to fetch it."

Fox hums, nursing the cup in his hand. "That tracks. They act like that thing spits out engine coolant."

You laugh. "To be fair, have you ever actually tasted it?"

He pauses, as if considering. "I prefer not to risk my life unnecessarily."

"Right, because dodging blaster fire daily is the safer alternative."

His chuckle is warm, even through the modulator. "Point taken."

But then, his tone shifts.

"I also wanted to apologise."

That catches you off guard. You blink, tilting your head. "For what, Commander?"

He shifts slightly, looking away for a brief moment before speaking. "I... I’ve realised that my attitude toward you has been harsher than it should be. And you don’t deserve that."

Your lips part, surprised. Where was this coming from?

"Commander, has someone said something? Because I—"

"No one said anything." He cuts in quickly, shaking his head. "Just… some self-reflection. I appreciate what you do for this squad."

A part of you wants to get up and hug him, but you stay rooted to your seat, your mouth suddenly dry as you process his words. Maybe Whisky had said something after last night’s conversation. But Fox didn’t strike you as the kind of man who would let just anyone put him in his place—at least, not unless it came from someone he truly trusted.

Still, you smile, warm and genuine. "Thank you, Commander. That... means a lot."

Fox only nods before turning and walking out without another word, leaving you sitting there, wondering where this sudden shift in him had come from.

🫧 Part Three Here 🦊

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[gffa]

HEADCANON TIME:  Part of the reason Ahsoka took on Sabine as a Jedi Padawan, despite that Sabine isn’t any more Force-sensitive than a baseline “every living thing is part of the Force” is, on some level, because Sabine can never have the Force like a Jedi did.  Because Sabine can never have the Force like Anakin did. Ahsoka refuses to train Grogu, who does have the Force like Anakin did, and she tells Din straight out that she won’t train him because she’s seen what this kind of mindset can do to the best of them. But she agreed to train Sabine because Ahsoka is still dealing with the loss of Anakin, that’s a huge part of what the series is about, that she never put her feelings of guilt to rest, she’s still torn up about what Anakin became, she’s still holding herself at arm’s length from the rest of the galaxy because she’s terrified of all of that happening again. She still pushes Sabine away, but she accepts her back because Sabine can never be a Jedi like the Jedi of the prequels, she can never do more than faintly touch the Force and so she can never be consumed by the dark side the way a level 100 psychic space wizard could.  Jedi had to train all their lives, they had to take that shit absolutely seriously, the Force literally works based on their emotions, if they use it in anger, they’re sliding towards the dark side. Sabine can be angry all she wants and she’s only hurting herself, maybe hurting Ahsoka’s feelings.  Ahsoka cares deeply about her, she knows this can help Sabine, because Jedi methods have always been available to non-Jedi, The Clone Wars showed that from the very beginning when Yoda was teaching the non-Force sensitive Jek, Rhys, and Thire.  The Jedi were never covetous of their teachings, they wanted to share with anyone who wanted to learn. But Sabine can never be a Jedi like Anakin was, she can never have the full brunt of the dark side in her head the way it was in his, she can never be a Jedi like the prequels Jedi.  And that makes it acceptable to Ahsoka, it makes it safe to train her, because Ahsoka is still hedging her bets about truly dedicating herself to a Jedi path.

[mindless-bibliophile]

Okay so, recently I’ve been rewatching this show called Person of Interest, and my brain said. Well.

—

Fox, setting blasters to kill: And remember, aim for the kneecaps. We need them alive

-

Fox: *tackles a guy, shoving both himself and the bad guy out of a four-story window*

*a thud is heard as they hit something*

Stone and Thire: *look out the window*

Fox, having landed on the guy instead of the speeder: *gets up, is completely uninjured*

Fox: *shrugs in a “What?” gesture before heading back inside*

Stone: Wonder Boy’s got issues tonight, huh?

Thire: He’s working on it

Stone: Hope that guy has health insurance

-

Thorn: We’re going to go steal a jet

Thire: That does sound like fun

-

Grizzer: *is happily chewing on something*

Fox and Thorn: *enter the room*

Fox: Wait

Thorn:

Fox:

Fox: That’s a grenade launcher

Thorn: :§

-

Stone, to his comm: Call Fox’s ex-brother-in-law twice removed

Thire: *picks up*

Thire: What do you want

-

Satine: I am extremely uncomfortable being here Commander-!

Fox, lining up a sniper rifle: And I am extremely uncomfortable having you here, but I need a spotter.

-

Fox: Well, the other commanders are mad at me, and my batchmates are mad at me too

Riyo, laughing: What, did you shoot someone else or something?

Fox:

Riyo:

Riyo: Fox.

Fox: It was hot out

-

Fox: Are you eating something near my desk?!

Thire: *stops chewing* maybe

-

Fox, on a call with Hound: And we need to make sure that- what is that noise?

Hound: I made the grievous error of buying Grizzer a squeaky toy

-

Fox: I’m proud of you Riyo. You’ve really gotten comfortable with your breaking and entering duties.

Riyo, sarcastically: thank you for appreciating my descent into deviant behavior

-

Palpatine: You miss me between busting drug dealers?

Fox: Yeah. I missed you like I miss an intestinal parasite

-

Stone: Woah, hold up Coco Puffs. I can’t let you in there. CSF has custody over over the crime scene now, the Guard are just watching over it until they get here

Quinlan Vos, flashing a fake badge: Lionel King, Coruscant Security Forces

Stone: Oh give me a break

Vos: Stone, you don’t want to be uncooperative with a security officer, do you?

Stone: If you’re involved? I don’t want nothin’ to do with this

[tesalicious2]

Why you don't prank the Guard commanders

Since they are almost constantly tired and at the end of their rope, anything could set them over the edge and no one wants that

not only that but they will usually react very strongly because of their extenuating circumstances and it is often blown out of proportions

HOWEVER, the other battalions don't know that and just want to help their brothers have fun! what's wrong with that

THIRE:

Thire got off a three day mission with General Yoda that ends up with Thire covered in some giant monsters stomach fluids and snot

He had to sit in it for a ten hour ride back and is humilated, with Yoda attempting to comfort him which only makes it worse

On his way back to the HQ, some troopers from the 104th decided to hit a guard with fake slime, a funny little prank

When Thire is at the end of his rope, he goes for violence

Thire waltzes into the mess, calls out whoever pranked him, and proceeded to dress them down, chew them up, and spit them out in front of everyone in the entire mess (made up of a few battalions and some Padawan Commanders)

It boiled down to 'you morons, i will kill you, you tiny roaches are nothing to me and i will throw you in the trash compactor like the disgusting garbage you are' with much more colorful and degrading language thrown in

Many now fear Thire and Wolffe outright refuses to work with the man out of fear

STONE:

Stone had just stopped three prison riots, captured two escapees from said riots, updated the entire security system, and hadn't slept because of the previous items for four days

Some men from Kit Fisto's SCUBA battalion thought it would be funny to hide some of Stone's stuff that was in his office (ie, datapads, pens, etc) and moved his stuff three inches to any side

Stone, who usually just jumped onto the coach in his office with the lights off, missed the middle and went to far up and smacked his nose on the wooden arm of the couch and cracked a tooth

This was not a fun way to cap the last four days

He found the troopers and filled their SCUBA tubes with spiders for them to find when they shipped out. Too bad the spiders crawled onto their faces on the ship and not in the water :(

THORN:

Thorn had been assissting senators for three full days with only 5 hours of sleep while standing throughout meetings

He had been ready to sleep and was heading to his last meeting with General Kenobi and some of his troopers present

Wooley and Longshot decided to lighten the mood by setting their voice coders to a different language and telling him he was going crazy

They also removed the nonslip pads from the couch and it slid out from underneath him

This may not have been bad at all but after three days, every little thing is annoying as shit and exhausting

After that meeting, Thorn decides to take revenge

Thorn is a believer in you get what you give so he does something harmless

relatively harmless

He sneaks onto the 212th barracks on the ship and places a speaker into the vents of the barracks, above Wooley and Longshots bunks (as close as he could get, the sound reverbs so everyone is pretty mad about this prank)

Every so often, in random intervals (no more than 4 hours, no less than 1 hours) a beep would sound, not too loud but loud enough to be annoying after 2 days

At night, it gets louder and more frequent and quieter during the day

Many troopers lose sleep over finding the thing (Thorn literally unscrewed wall panels to hide it), its been 3 weeks and they arrive at their new battle field in a week

Four days before their arrival, as the speaker is about to die, in the middle of the night, the speaker goes to full volume and shouts 'THIS IS COMMANDER THORN. I MAY BE THE CAUSE OF YOUR SLEEPLESSNESS BUT LONGSHOT AND WOOLEY STARTED THIS. I WILL DO IT AGAIN ASSHOLES. THE SPEAKER IS GOING TO DIE SO ENJOY YOUR *TEMPORARY* FREEDOM. HAHHAHAHAHAH-' and then the speaker dies (Thorn hacked the cameras and enjoys playing the screaming arguments and shouts at the speaker during rough days)

Longshot and Wooley never hear the end of it

FOX:

Fox had been going through hell the entire week and he was ready to kill someone, even though his shift wasn't over yet.

Jesse, Fives, and Hardcase had decided to help Fox lighten up by shooting him with silly string throughout the day, switching armor with blank armor to keep hidden

Fox was paranoid and had to be sedated. He eventually tracked down the three and had his revenge not through their own annoyance

At first, he replaced their weapons with modified silly guns that quickly ended, leading them to believe they were free (the whole revenge lasted an hour ish as the three enjoyed playing with the silly string)

Unknown to them, Rex's entire room had been filled with silly string, his blasters, the padding in his matress, the drawers in his dress, the hair wash was liquid silly string, the soap was frozen strong, his pillow, his chair was broken then 'welded' back together with silly string and fell apart when he sat on it, etc.

He kept finding it and it lasted for days, the moment he thought it was over, more string came up. He was paranoid, everything was silly string

When he finally complained to the command chat, Fox told him that Jesse, Hardcase, and Fives caused it and that he overheard them planning it

When Rex punished them, they said they never did anything with silly string but many others saw them spraying each other with the silly string FOX pranked them with so everyone assumed they were messing with the leftovers from Rex's prank. Not only that but they weren't quiet about pranking Fox so everyone thought he was the warm up for Rex.

No matter what they said, Rex didn't believe a word and they were stuck on latrine duty for a whole month

When Rex found out about Fox getting pranked as well, Rex let them get punished by him too

Fox made them clean out all the massiff kennels and play areas, cleaning any stains from the puppies and getting used for bite practice by the adults everyday for their next leave.

Fox came by and watched them everyday, laughing at their misery

HOUND:

Hound loves pranks and jokes and will happily engage and laugh at them

however, the timing has to be right and most don't get that part (only the other ARF troopers know)

Some troopers from the 41st took his bed sheets and pillows and blankets and towels after some of his troopers and Hound ended a four hour chase through the sewers (they didn't know about the chase).

Hound normally would've thought this was hilarious but after spending two hours covered in sewage looking for towels around HQ just to shower, he was pretty mad

After cleaning up and ready for bed, he snuck into the 41st barracks and woke them up with a growling, snarling grizzer leaning over their face and a hand over their mouth.

He whispered, 'don't scream, you touch my shit again, I will end you and everyone you love.'

Rinse and repeat then he sneaks away

[mock-arts]

In honor of me not having any more bangs on the schedule for the year, here's part 1/2 of my 2023 cover collection! This portion 100% star wars. The next bit will be up tomorrow. I've started a cover collection tag for the compilations like this, but you can always look through all my bang art in my big bang tag. Though, not all of these were for big bangs. Eh, whatever.

Links and summaries below the cut!

Cover collection 2023

So There's this Guy by @catbuirs-alt & @elsaanna007 (art) (with more art by @anstarwar)

The war is over!

Jesse, Kix, Echo and Fives live together in an apartment on Coruscant.

Echo finds himself in a new romance with a beautiful woman named Hehna. After finding himself lacking in experience, Fives offers to help him out with advice and practice.

Unfortunately for Fives, this awakens some feelings he thought were buried deep and he doesn’t know what to do about them. He decides to put them aside and be happy that Echo has found someone.

Fives’ advice does help Echo become more confident with his new girlfriend, but something is holding him back. His thoughts keep returning to his best friend and he’s not the only one who notices. Will Fives keep his role as the best friend, or will Echo realize that his attraction to Hehna pales in comparison to his feelings for Fives?

Keep by @tallnegotiations (art)

Vader is a technical genius, it is a well-known fact. So, following his defeat at the hands of his old Master on Mustafar and the rise of the Empire, Vader executes his greatest act of genius to prove his dominance: he creates an artificial intelligence modeled after Obi-Wan Kenobi.

After the rise of the Empire, nothing remains of Commander Cody except for CC-2224, just another rank-and-file stormtrooper among many. He goes where he is told to go, shoots where he is told to shoot, and doesn't question it because good soldiers follow orders.

A droid told to be human meets a human told to be a droid. They meet somewhere in the middle.

(Tooka) Cat-Scratch Fever by @pebblish (art)

Luke is lonely, and instead of joining space bumble decides to cure the problem with a tooka cat. When he visits a shelter, he stumbles upon the most unadoptable feline there- a scarred, jet black, mangy creature that tears apart the homes of any who dare to adopt him.

Darth Vader has been turned into a tooka cat by his former Master, Darth Sidious. And now, he's been adopted by some blonde brat who has no idea who he's dealing with.

The pair of them are in for some startling revelations, and each will have to learn that what you want isn't always what you need.

I Wear My Sunglasses at Night by Trillium Orchid (art)

Force Osik can make things difficult and decidedly strange. Sith versions of Cody, Fox, Thorn, Thire, and Stone get switched with the bodies of their alternate selves that are from a near-cannon timeline…

They decide to Help Things- and manage to kill the Chancellor. Meanwhile, the vod’e that they switch with is trying to get back home and hop a few universes before getting switched back… after the Sith versions kill the Chancellor.

Ripple in the Universe by @darthtarvera (art)

Jango Fett has done many things in service to Mandalore. Tricking a couple of Jedi so he can use them to get to the heart of a conspiracy seems simple enough to add to the list. Get the Jedi, get to Mandalore, and find the traitors. One more step to take on his path to fix the mistakes from the last time he did this.

Ripples on the water can have longer-lasting effects than you might think. Jango Fett and Obi-Wan Kenobi meet years before they were supposed to.

This changes things.

An Hourglass in Hand by @ecarian (art) (with more art by @blog-o-randomness)

“I thought daemons didn’t eat,” Rex noted once, during a celebration feast, as he and Cody watched Boga devour her meal with some fascination. Varactyl she may be, but she was a tiny one. There wasn't much interior space for the truly momentous amount of meat she was ripping into. Boga daintily rubbed her beak against a folded serviette that looked kind of like a bird, and said, prim, “I can do anything a human can do.”

“Oh?” Obi-Wan said mildly, from where he’d been tapping at a datapad. “Shall I save you a portion of these reports then?”

No Trophies, Only Prisoners by @diviluscorner (art)

Jango’s life took a wrong turn somewhere around Geonosis and spat him out years later to haunt one of his clones.

Or perhaps Jango doesn't realize the Force has other plans for him.

Every Shadow by @kenobster (art)

The days on Kadavo were long, but the nights moved quickly. Hundreds of pairs of wide, sleepless eyes haunted the space of the holding cells. Droves of terror clogged the heavy, sweaty air, and every sound, however faint, was like a physical ripple across the crowd. Every sound. The jingling of keys, the clicking of locks, the thudding of boots, and that’s how the nights on Kadavo started—with a gradual increase in the degree of quiet.

OR—during the mass casualty event following Kadavo and Zygerria, Obi-Wan and Anakin seek ways to cope with trauma.

[1-800-crscnt]

thinking of Thorn being strong enough to / liking to pick up other clones and just set them down a few feet away when they are being extremely annoying to him or when he wants to tease them. he does this to Fox and Thire in private since some dignity must be spared in front of the rest of the Guard (despite how unprofessional the men have seen them get), but Stone doesn’t like touch, so Thorn just mimes picking him up whenever he’s had enough of his brother (stone finds it funny though). it earns him some weird looks, scratches, light punches, and a bit of teasing too whenever he goes to pick up clones from other battalions or mimes the gesture (fox finds the miming funny).

[thestarwarslesbian]

Fox: Can we stay with you tonight? Bail: All of the guard? What happened? Fox: Someone was playing with an ouija board and cursed our barracks. Thire: Thorn wasn’t any help. He doesn’t know how to banish spirits, so he’s just throwing salt at them yelling “does this look like a hotel to you!?”

[cc1010fox]

Thire: What are you doing? Fox, sneaking out of his bunk: Nothing? Thire: Now I know you're up to no good... Fox: I just...need to talk to Seventeen. Thire: He's sleeping, like you should be. Fox: I just need to wake him up for a second. Thire: You're going to get in trouble. Fox: I'll risk it. Thire, peeking into Fox's bunk ten minutes later: ...Fox? Wolffe: Thire? What's going on? Thire: Fox went to talk to Alpha-17, but he's not back yet... Cody: What? Do you think he went somewhere else? Bly: He better not have! He'll get in trouble! Thire, worried: I hope he didn't do anything stupid... Wolffe: Well, let's find the di'kut. Cody: And hope he's not already in trouble. Wolffe, peeking into Alpha-17's room: I don't see h-- Thire: Wolffe? What is it? Wolffe, pouting: I knew he was the favorite... Cody, practically climbing over Wolffe: Aw man, it's true... Bly, pushing through them: What are you two talking abou--Wh--That's not fair... Thire, finally making enough room to see for himself: Aw...I'm glad he's not in trouble. Let's go. We have our answer. Wolffe, sulking: Why not us? Thire: Because we didn't think to ask Alpha-17 for cuddles. Alpha-17, cuddling with a sleepy cadet who's snuggled up to his side: You know they're going to start sneaking in here too. I can't fit all of you in my bunk... Fox, pouting: Does that mean there will be nights I can't sleep in here? Alpha-17: Afraid so, ad'ika... Fox, whining: Buiiir...At least kick Wolffe out to make room for me if he's in here... Alpha-17, chuckling: Just get some sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning.

[rooksunday]

fluffcember day fourteen: winter soup

It wasn't precisely unusual to find Fox in the galley of the Coruscant Guard headquarters, but until that moment, Stone hadn't realised Fox knew the function of anything apart from the caf machine. Yet there Fox stood, his curls and face still creased from sleep, bare-footed in his undersuit and glowering at a large pot as if it were late to turn in an incident report.

Stone sidled into the galley and helped himself to a mug of caf from the station by the door, where it had been arranged to prevent the commanders from bothering hardworking troopers while they were doing real work.

(That Fox had copied the phrasing word for word spoke loudly about his respect for the self-proclaimed Corrie head chef, Sergeant Chop. Chop had stalked into the galley on their first day on Coruscant and declared it hers, so everyone else should kindly kriff off and leave her to it. Recognising her claim, off they had all duly kriffed.)

Sipping his caf, Stone looked a question at Chop, who stood at the stove tending a giant pot of her own. Chop shook her head, indicating that she didn't know what Fox was doing, either. Presumably he'd been permitted to invade the sacred culinary space as it was early enough that Fox wouldn't get in anyone's way, since there were only him, Chop, and Stone in the room, and thus his nonsense could continue. Whatever said nonsense involved.

Well, that's why Stone was a commander. To brave asking such questions of his feral tooka superior officer.

And also because he lost the coin toss to Thire.

He walked over. "Fox—"

"Does this need more?" Fox thrust a spoon toward Stone's face. The spoon contained a steaming lumpy light brown liquid that smelled pleasantly herbaceous.

Stone looked blankly at Fox. "What?"

"More! Does it need?" Fox let out an exasperated noise and gently shook the spoon. "Taste it!"

"There was a seminar on eating unknown substances. You were there. You made Shiv host it."

"That was about drugs and glowing things—"

"And the talk prior to that about accepting gifts from strange men?" Stone asked.

"Strange beings," Fox corrected, then narrowed his eyes. "Hey! Just try the blasted soup, will you? I'll make it an order if I have to—"

Chop interrupted. "Not in my kitchen you won't! Uh, sir."

Gaze sliding sideways before returning to Stone, Fox amended, "I won't disrupt the harmony of Sergeant Chop's kitchen but I will make life difficult for you in numerous petty and untraceable ways if you don't try this soup, Commander Stone."

"Why, Commander Fox, do you kiss your tube with that mouth?"

"Stone—"

Stone sighed and reached out. He was always going to reach out, but it was important to provide the occasional example of insubordination to remind Fox how such things were done. Just for future reference.

"Give me the spoon before you hurt yourself."

Stone tried the soup. He handed back the spoon.

"Well?" Fox asked. The bags under his eyes were well over the weight allowance; he needed to sleep, not be attempting to cook.

He wouldn't hear such sensible advice, of course. Stone stuck to what Fox would hear, instead.

"Maybe some more pepper? Not too much." That sounded reasonable. "The soup is good, Fox. Sir. Might I enquire as to what prompted your sudden foray into the culinary arts?"

Fox grunted, his back to Stone, already grinding pepper into the pot. His shoulders were in a stiff line. He didn't look around as he spoke.

"Thorn came back from that escort trip yesterday. He said the planet had been deep in a snowy winter."

"Yes, I think I heard that from the others that went. Haven't seen Thorn yet, though."

"...He started sneezing."

Abruptly, absolutely everything made sense. Somewhere, Thire was laughing and didn't know why. From the corner of his eye, Stone saw Chop grin and duck her head, as understanding became clear to her, too. If Thorn was experiencing a discomfort that Fox thought it was in his power to fix, the galaxy could go hang, never mind rules about who could do what in the Corrie galley.

"The holonet says soup is good for colds," Fox muttered. His stirring had slowed. His shoulders had crept towards his ears.

Stone had been born to loyalty, but he'd chosen to give it to Fox. In the battlefield, in the stinking streets of Coruscant, and now in the kitchen. Smiling slightly, Stone clapped the other clone on the shoulder and pushed in close, giving the soup another consideration with his new perspective on the purpose of it.

"Put in some more pepper, you know Thorn likes things spicy, then let's get some of this into a container. If we catch Hound before he takes Grizzer out, he can bring fresh bread from the bakery on the corner. Thorn'll feel better in no time."

Fox mumbled something unintelligible, then asked, "You're sure?"

Like a wet tooka.

"If he doesn't, we'll go raid that Black Sun pharmacy two levels down. How about that?"

"Thorn does like shooting things." Fox added more pepper with a flourish, then lowered his voice conspiratorially. "If he stops sneezing, I'll even let him bring Hammer."

That hadn't quite been what Stone intended by the offer—he'd more been thinking about the healing power of the pharmaceutical products—but Fox had brightened at the prospect, and Stone wouldn't puncture that brightness. He nodded instead.

"Bread, soup, and blasters. Who wouldn't feel better after that?" Stone asked.

Stone himself felt better already.

He was going to get Thire to write the incident report.